Hetalia in: Cinema Shock
by TRACK-A-sama
Summary: New Orleans shows America an ad for a film festival, which leads a grandiose trip across the world to film. Crack fic with OC. Contains explosions, car chases, hilarity, firecrackers, court cases, and bad movie title puns. Updating now!
1. How to Succeed in Filmmaking

HETALIA World's Fair: Cinema Shock **Chapter 1: 2013, A Film Odyssey**

It was a dark and stormy night…

Wait, scratch that.

In a galaxy far, far away…

What the heck? Oh, okay, here we are.

Our story begins at the World Summit on an overcast Thursday, and the usually-laid-back New Orleans, a city-tan, was scrolling through her inbox as she tuned out the usual noise.

As she started typing a reply to the manager of her cafe, Hong Kong, another city-tan, and Sealand, a wannabe country, were sharing their experiences with their lunatic brothers, China and England. New Orleans, of course, shared the same fate with her boisterous older brother America and her somewhat-perverted "boss" France, but she'd rather not share.

As she ignored the constant chat, she scrolled through her messages, until a certain email caught her eye.

It was from her favorite movie reviewers. Curious, she clicked on it.

It read:

To: bellebrooks966

Have you ever wanted to direct a real live blockbuster movie? Here's your chance! Rotten Potatoes is hosting a film festival for budding producers. Send in your movie (can be 15 min.-2 hr. movie) to us, and if picked, you will be given a budget to produce the movie of your dreams!

New Orleans raised an eyebrow, the gears in her head turning.

Standing up suddenly, she left the room, ignoring the stares from Sealand and Hong Kong. She entered the noisy conference room, put down her laptop, took a deep breath, and shouted, "EVERYBODY SHUT THE HECK UP!"

All the nations turned to her.

"What are you doing in here, mon cherie?" asked France, smiling lightly.

New Orleans shot him a look, and said, "Check out what I found in my email."

All the nations nearly crawled over each other to gaze at the tiny screen. America's face lit up with excitement.

"A movie?"

England looked bewildered. "All we have to do is send it?"

Russia smiled. "It sounds fun, da?"

America stood back up, grinning his usual smile. "You know, this email gives me a very good idea." He gave a fist pump of epic determination. "I say we quit the meeting and send in the best movie of all time!"

"Heck yes!" Prussia yelled, throwing his papers in the air.

"Ve~! No work!" Italy exclaimed, doing the same.

"I agree wholeheartedly, America-san!" Japan said, his eyes sparkling.

"Filmmaking originated in Korea, da ze!" Korea exclaimed, giving a thumbs-up.

"Hold on!" England said firmly. "Movie-making? _Must _we remind you of all the chaos we go through filming your idiotic home movies? With a full-length film, we could destroy the world on your part!"

"Oh come on, Iggy!" said America, giving England a noogie, "You know my movies rock! What's the difference between a little home movie and a big screen one?"

"Too many to count, and don't call me that," said England, pulling away and trying to smooth his usually unkempt hair.

New Orleans, having had enough of the bickering, jumped onto the table. Scanning the room filled with faces, she announced, "OK! Those of you who think filming a probably-grandiose movie is good idea, raise your hand!"

Italy, Japan, Prussia, Korea, and quite a few others raised their hands and waved them.

New Orleans resisted the urge to facepalm. "OK, those who think the movie isn't a good idea, raise your hand."

Out of everyone, England, China, Germany, Austria, Romano, and Switzerland were the only ones who objected.

New Orleans turned to America. "The movie's on."

America cheered, and said, "But what kind of movie?"

"Well…" said England, sighing in defeat. "Since we _are _going with this rubbish, I think a fantasy film should suffice."

"Dude! Not even! We're doing an action flick!" America protested.

"Kung fu flick, da ze!"

"Romantic comedy!"

"Horror, horror's always good!"

Once again, bickering began to break out until New Orleans let out a shrill whistle.

Quiet restored, "OK, let's do this. We'll throw an element of all of those genres into whatever this is. KK?"

Everyone murmured and nodded.

New Orleans turned to America once more, "But I'm cancelling all of this if Hong-kun and Sealand-kun don't get to come."

_[[Good God, I'm going to have fun writing this one._

_OK, so i was browsing My Little Pony fanfics and it hatched a plotline in my brain.. So, I decided that if I had to make a really good fanfic, just make a hilariously rapid-fire comedy crack fic. This fic will include explosions, car chases, flipped tables, super spy stuff, and the awesome Prussia._

_Oh, and movie puns and shout-outs._

_Hetalia doesn't belong to me. Because if it did, there would be more fight scenes and Italy being less of a spazzy wimp. _

_New Orleans/Annabelle Brooks belongs to me._

_The plot belongs to me._

_But 2001: A Space Odyssey doesn't.]]_


	2. Nations, Inc

HETALIA World's Fair: Cinema Shock Chapter 2: Nations, Inc.

Once the matter had been settled, the World Conference was called off in movie preparations. As America began to gather everything so he could head home and start planning, New Orleans and Canada interrupted.

"You're not really going to make a _real_ movie, are you?" Canada asked.

"Because seriously, this could spell trouble."

"Don't worry!" said America, brightly as ever. "Everything will sort out, I have a plot and everything!"

"No offense, America," said Canada matter-of-factly, "but everyone knows that your directing skills almost always bite someone in the butt."

"Oh, stop being such a stick in the mud, bro!" America said, patting Canada's shoulder. "I'm the leader and the hero! And no movie that I make shall be suckish when the _hero_ directs it!" He smiled at New Orleans.

She sweatdropped. I was afraid you were going to say that.

Indignant, New Orleans hopped back on the table, exclaiming, "But dude—I mean, big brother, real movies involve things like money and actors and camera and legal acts! It's not just following people around with a camera! And besides, if we _did_ win the production funds we'd probably be shot down anyway, everyone knows showbiz waits for no one!"

Canada looked from New Orleans to America, unable to decide who he should side with.

America took New Orleans off the table and said, "Relax, sis! If anything, I'd never do something as stupid as endanger everyone doing a movie shoot in a foreign place! That's totally out of the question." He stroked her black hair gently. "Just play along and do well!"

New Orleans considered her options. She could object, or she could do what he suggested: play along. Well, she had brought this on herself, so if anyone would take the fall it'd probably be her. Nonetheless, she should try.

"OK, I'll play along," she said with more balance.

"Great!" America said, picking up his computer. "See you at the airport noon tomorrow. Don't be late!"

"Hold up!" Canada and New Orleans yelled in unison. "_Tomorrow? _You're only giving us 24 hours!"

"As you said, showbiz waits for no one!" America called, leaving. "After all, what could possibly go wrong?"

New Orleans rolled her eyes. "What could possibly go _right_?"

[[_SORRY SHORT CHAPTER_

_Ok, we have established the premise._

_But, before we move on, think: Hetalia + showbiz + an international trip + America's directing + a grandiose action movie plot?_

_Answer: Absolute INSANITY._

_Next chapter the real action will start, where our protagonists shall go over the "movie" and the plans, and take a trip to...drum roll, please...Hollywood, biyotch!_

_So, that's that._

_Hetalia doesn't belong to me, it belongs to Himaruya-sama._

_New Orleans and the story belong to me._

_"Monsters, Inc." (The title pun) doesn't belong to me.]]_


	3. Two Weeks Noticing

"Oh God, we're screwed...oh God, we're screwed...oh God, we're screwed..." New Orleans kept chanting as she and Hong Kong walked through the airport, each with a suitcase in tow. "What the hell was I _thinking...je suis un tel imbécile..."_

"Stop worrying so much," said the boy, smirking. "This is seriously going to be epic."

"Don't tell me when to worry!" she said indignantly. "If we mess up we could cause trouble on a global scale! Or at least a national one." She sighed.

"Geez, you sound like China when you talk like that," Hong Kong said nonchalantly. "Chill. After all, your brother promised that nothing will go wrong on this trip. If he says it won't, believe him. At least for the sake of your sanity."

New Orleans knew Hong Kong was right, but knowing both the Allied Forces _and _the Axis Powers, when someone said nothing would go wrong, something always did.

Sure enough, the usual gang was there when the pair of teens reached the room they were going to meet at. America was bugging England, England was yelling at France, Russia was being creepy to poor Lithuania (who was reluctantly dragged along), Poland was pestering Lithuania (if Liet was coming, so was Poland), Italy was singing about pasta, Germany was attempting to make him shut up, Japan was caught between calming Germany or America down, Romano was being pestered by Spain, and Prussia was laughing about his awesomeness factor.

It was as usual as you could get.

"Dear me," said New Orleans wearily.

"Okay, dudes! The hero is talking so listen up!" America announced, holding up a map. "The first part of movie will take place in the following location: Hollywood, U.S.A! There, we will film an opening fight scene with the stars, New Orleans and Prussia!"

Everyone clapped. New Orleans smiled gratefully and Prussia fist-pumped.

"Now, to assign jobs before we board the plane: Iggy is the production manager!"

"Stop calling me that, you git!"

"Next: Script Supervisor, that is Japan!"

"I'll do my best!"

"Next: Location Manager, that's Russia!"

"I hope things will run smoothly, da?"

"Next: Legal Counsel, that's Korea!"

"Uri nara mansae!"

"Next: Art Director, that's Italy!"

"Ve~"

"Next: Props Master, that's Romano!"

"Whatever."

"Next: Weapons Master, that's Germany!"

"Hmph."

"Next: Costume Designer, that's Poland!"

"This will be, like, totally fabulous!"

"Next: Make-Up, that's France!"

"Honhonhon..."

"Next: Cameraman, that's Spain!"

"Ready for action, amigos!"

"Next: Boom Operator, that's Lithuania!"

"Um...okay."

"And finally: the Electrician, that's Hong Kong."

"Can we leave already?"

"Did I forget anyone?"

"HOLD UP!"

Everyone turned to see China, Canada, Switzerland, and Liechtenstein following up, panting.

"We had to stop because China's back went out halfway up the stairs!" Canada explained hastily.

"That's _not _my fault, aru!"

"_Please _tell me you're not leaving without us!" Liechtenstein begged.

"Yes! But hurry up or those damn Nordics will be behind us!"

With a burst of excitement, the group hastily boarded their plane, but still feeling jumpy the entire way to California. Most of the chaos came from Italy's cheers of "pasta", Korea's constant bugging of China and America getting scolded by England.

Within a timespan of four hours, they touched down in L.A., and by this time New Orleans was ready to explode from annoyance.

New Orleans sighed as she and the group left the airport, but as she walked she browsed the booklet America made for the plan. What she saw nearly made her eyes pop out.

_"YOU'RE GIVING US __**TWO WEEKS?!**__" _she shouted, throwing the booklet at America's head. "How can we make a full-length movie in _two weeks?!" _

"Oh right!" America said, rubbing the spot on his head where she hit him, "I forgot to tell you about that! The film deadline is the day after the two weeks so we need to hurry. One day in each location. Besides, we can see a lot more! Am I right?"

New Orleans looked at him with disbelief. _I love that you're my brother but sometimes I wonder why on Earth England didn't kill you yet._

America led the disgruntled group to the streets, where they were told to split up and find a quick place to stay. Everyone scurried off, with New Orleans setting out to find a good hotel.

Eventually, she found one, thankful that her job always supplied her good money. She dragged her suitcase to her room, plopped down on her bed, and started to undo the zipper on her bag.

She was met with a blue-eyed face.

"What the hell?! Sealand, what are you doing in my _suitcase?!"_

"You said I could come along! And I didn't want to deal with that jerk England!"

New Orleans facepalmed.

_[[Okay, I lied. The crack will start next chapter, when the actual filming begins and "what could possibly go wrong" takes its inevitable toll._

_Yes, Sealand is a stowaway. This is a comedy so don't ask me how he fit in there. I know, it's crazy._

_But anyway, if you're bored by this fanfic, don't turn away, it's going to get better. In the next five chapters alone there will be explosions, a runaway firecracker, and someone getting arrested. And trialed. With the weirdest lawyer of all time._

_So yeah._

_Hetalia doesn't belong to me._

_Hollywood doesn't belong to me._

_New Orleans/Annabelle DOES belong to me._

_The title pun "Two Weeks Notice" doesn't belong to me. (BTW, that's a great movie)._

_Toodles]]_


	4. Chatty Chatty Bang Bang

"Ok, dudes! Part one of the movie of the century is about to start!"

"Just give the directions, you git!"

"Ok, ok. New Orleans, for this scene, you're going to be suspended over the fake priceless jewel, where you'll grab it, swing over the display case, yell "Code Red", and Hong Kong will blow up the wall for you to escape. Scene over."

"I'm having mixed feelings about this."

But despite that, the poor 16-year-old was now hanging over the "display case".

"Ok! Lights! Camera! Action! I've always wanted to say that..."

Ignoring him and getting into character, New Orleans—or, at the moment, Stacy White—carefully observed the glittering green gem from her perch. As stealthily as possible, she reached down and removed the glass concealing the item.

"Psst, Roma! Put me down a little!" she whispered as quietly as she could as not to ruin the audio.

Above her, Romano was struggling to keep her weight in the air. In his straining, America's past statement of "What could possibly go wrong?" came back to bite him.

The rope snapped.

"AAAAAUUGH!" New Orleans gasped as she fell on top of the display case, taking it and the gem down with her.

CRASH. TINKLE. SCREEE.

New Orleans opened her eyes and saw the broken gem lying a foot away.

Hold up! New Orleans recalled America telling Spain that the fake gem was unbreakable. The real gem was the fragile one.

Which means...

"Romano, you IDIOT!" New Orleans shouted, "You forgot to switch the real gem with the fake one!"

"Well, how could I do that when I'm supposed to be holding _you _up on this damn rope?!" Romano retorted angrily.

Just then, the whole place became a flashing red as the alarms went off. _Damn!_

Suddenly...

BOOM!

Smoke exploded everywhere as both New Orleans and Romano were blasted into the wall. A gaping hole was revealed to be in the museum wall, to which New Orleans groaned loudly.

"Whoops," said a voice. "America, you didn't tell me which wall was the breakaway one."

"Oh God," said New Orleans in exasperation.

"Nice," agreed Romano sarcastically.

Then, the two whipped around to see the air vent shoved out of its socket, and a coughing, sooty Hong Kong emerged, his black-brown hair falling down his face as he hung upside-down.

"Sorry about that," he said in his usual deadpan way. "I lit the dynamite too soon."

"No duh!"

Above all that, the three heard police sirens.

"Oh, great."

"AMERICA!"

They vaguely heard America say, "I'm out of here!"

As the dust cleared, the whole cast and crew had bailed as fast as an Italian who saw English troops with guns. Deciding their best option was to scurry, Romano and New Orleans made a run for it as the sirens got closer. They dashed behind a nearby building, and saw something terrible.

They left China!

The police went up to China, who was just about to run off. "Hold it right there!"

"Wô sîle!" China mumbled as the cops grabbed him and started dragging him off.

"Sensei! Wait up!" said Hong Kong, running after them. In the end, he was thrown into the van, too.

The police car drove away, leaving a bewildered New Orleans and Romano.

_[[Good lord. China's gotten himself into a pickle now._

_Here is where the crack starts. See? There was an explosion! I told you there was an explosion! Eat that!_

_By the way, Hong Kong's other job is explosives manager. Forgot to mention that. _

_The next chapter is going to be about China and Hong Hong and...someone. Whoever guesses right gets a free request, whether it be TWA or Hetalia._

_Hetalia doesn't belong to me. If it did, I'd have a writing job at Funimation._

_New Orleans/Annabelle Brooks does belong to me._

_The title pun "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" doesn't belong to me._

_Toodles~]]_


	5. Ace Korea, Part 1

"I'm telling you, I didn't do anything!"

"You know they're not listening to you, sensei."

Let's take a break from whatever Romano and Orleans will do now and skip to the good part. China had been arrested for destroying the museum (no matter how many times he protested that he had just been moving the props) and Hong Kong ended up being thrown in as well for admitting to lighting dynamite. Now the pair were sitting in court, waiting to be tried for arson.

"Hollywood Museum of National History versus Yao Wang and Kaoru Kirkland-Wang, Judge Elise von Maur presiding," said a policeman.

"When we get back, I'm going to _murder _America, aru!" China grumbled, his head resting in his arms.

"At least we have an attorney so we _can _get back," said Hong Kong, sipping a glass of water that was on the table.

"Who IS our attorney, aru?"

"ME, da ze!"

China shot up. _Oh mother of dragons, no!_

Hong Kong spit out the water he had been drinking.

But sure enough, kicking the doors open, was none other than South Korea in a blue dress suit. In his hand was a briefcase that China knew held Korea's tools of law, whatever that could be.

China slammed his head on the table. "I hate my life, aru."

"And we hate your life, too," said Hong Kong, who was laughing hysterically inside. China never had seen him smile so wide.

Judge Elise looked at the tall Asian in the funny suit with bewilderment. "How may I address you, Mr..."

"Im Yong Soo, attorney at law, your honor!" Korea said cheerfully, taking a seat. "I'm here to defend for Chi—"

Cue Dope Slap. "Nation-tans can't let people know they're not human, aru! Just call me Yao, aru!"

Hong Kong rolled his eyes. "What are you even doing here? You're not a law specialist."

"But America put me in charge of the movie's legal counsel, so deal with it, da ze!" Korea turned back to the judge. "I mean, defending for Yao Wang and his..._son."_

This time, Hong Kong glared at him.

The lawyer opposing them stood up. "I think that—"

Korea slammed his hands on the table. "_Objection!"_

Cue another Dope Slap. "You're not supposed to say that yet, you idiot!" Hong Kong growled.

China facepalmed. _I'm so screwed._

**Hetalia!**

Romano and New Orleans headed to the courthouse, with America and Spain in tow. "Thanks to you two imbeciles China and Hong Kong have to suffer! Movie magic, my butt!"

With a kick, New Orleans opened the doors to the large courtroom.

China sighed with relief. _Thank you, Lord! At least with Annabelle-chan around I have a chance!_

Korea brightened. He stood up and said boldly, "Your honor, I call Miss Brooks to the stand!"

_"You WHAT?!" _everyone shouted.

China slammed his head back down on the table and groaned.

"You shouldn't have gotten your hopes up~" said Hong Kong is a sing-songy voice.

"Oh quit being such a smart aleck, aru!" said China sternly. "Remember, if I go to jail you go, too, aru!"

"Yeah, but I'm the explosives expert," said Hong Kong boredly. "I could bomb myself out and leave you there."

China was about to start yelling at the physically-17-year-old when New Orleans reluctantly went up to the podium.

_[[Sorry, I'm ending the chapter here. CLIFFHANGER, MUAHAHAHA._

_Anyway! You now have tasted the actual hilarity that will continue to ensue in this fanfiction. _

_My goal is to get at least 10 reviews by Chapter 10, (hahaha, 10/10) so keep on telling me your thoughts! Seriously, my other Team World Adventure TTT fanfic got a lot of views, but this has a favorite, a follower, and two reviews in the course of the week it's been online. Thank you, people!_

_Now, who has a guess on what Korea is going to do now? Anyone? Don't be shy._

_Also, chapters might not come out as rapidly because I'm back at school and it's hard to write stuff. _

_Hetalia doesn't belong to me._

_Annabelle/New Orleans belongs to me._

_The title pun "Ace Ventura" doesn't belong to me._

**_Bye-bye~]]_**


	6. Author's Note, AKA I'M NOT DEAD

Sorry, everybody!

School has been VERY, VERY stressful and I have not gotten a chance to do a lot of planning and writing. Until then, sit tight and keep reviewing, okay? I promise that by the time Christmas break comes along my updates should be much more frequent.

Speaking of which, I can't believe how many views this story has gotten! I seriously had no idea it would get popular. Well, for me, anyway. 100+ views must not be much to you folks.

But please, keep reviewing! It gives me motivation (THOUGHTS: It makes me feel nice to see my inbox spammed with nice comments.)

Thank you all for liking Cinema Shock! I also apologize if this is boring, the next location New Orleans and her crazy brother will go to will have a mini-chase scene and (literally) fiery chaos. And that's all I will say.

Anyway, that's it. Thank you, gracias, merci, arigato, grazie, spasibo, xiexie, and all other respective languages!


	7. Ace Korea, Part 2

Korea watched as New Orleans reluctantly took her seat at the chair. She folded her arms and looked at korea expectantly.

"First question!" said Korea boldly, trying to ignore the stares of annoyance from Hong Kong and China, "It's an easy one, actually. Were you at the crime scene?"

"Yes," New Orleans replied flatly.

"When?"

"Before and during the museum's explosion."

The jury whispered to each other, and New Orleans' mind began to work. _Oh, of course! Thanks, Korea, now if Hong Kong and China don't go to jail, I will!_

Korea then asked, "Did you see anything suspicious while you were in the museum?"

"Not that I knew of."

"No further questions, da ze!" said Korea triumphantly, and Hong Kong and China groaned.

Korea took a seat next to the two, smiling.

"Just where is this going to go, aru?" asked China.

"Just trust me, Aniki!" said Korea brightly. "All I have to do is confuse or bore everyone to death, and they'll let us go."

"Court doesn't work that way, aru!"

"How do you know? This is America, sensei."

"Mind your own business, aru!"

Then, the other lawyer, Ms. Feldmason, stood up and walked over to New Orleans. "Miss...Brooks, I presume…" she looked pointedly at Korea, who had his arms crossed, "Were these two people at the crime scene?" She gestured to China and Hong Kong, who were both glaring at Korea.

New Orleans contemplated. Should she lie? No, she's New Orleans. Second friendliest city in America. It wouldn't work. So she said, "Maybe."

Ms. Feldmason narrowed her eyes. "Did you see either of these two people at the explosion?"

_Haha! Loophole, Brooks! _New Orleans had to keep herself from smirking. "No ma'am. I didn't see either of them at the time of the explosion."

Korea's eyes widened, and so did China's. New Orleans hadn't lied, she had used a loophole. Hong Kong and China were not _visible _when the wall was blown up, but they were _present. _

Hong Kong smiled. _I have taught her well._

Ms. Feldmason eyed New Orleans' perfect poker face (Hong Kong _did _teach her well), but said, "No further questions."

Smirking to herself, New Orleans leapt off the chair, grinning at China and Korea.

China whispered, "How could one little girl be so _sneaky, _aru?"

Korea said, "I don't know, but I think I'm starting to fall in love with her, too." Cue third Dope Slap.

Korea tried to think of another witness to call up when the doors to the courtroom burst open again.

It was Canada, who was panting and gasping, "Am I too late? I wanted to see if I could help!"

Korea smiled. _It's raining witnesses! _He turned to Judge Elise. "Your honor, I call him…" he pointed to Canada, "Matthew Williams, to the stand!"

China wanted to scream. "Hong Kong...just kill me...I have lost all purpose in life…"

Hong Kong almost snorted. "You forget. You're immortal, so even if I wanted to kill you I couldn't."

"Don't say that out loud, aru!"

"Sensei. Just because we're in a court full of humans doesn't mean they're listening to us."

"I'm being careful, aru."

Canada gulped, but approached the chair and sat down. Korea obviously was out of his mind if he thought he had any good information.

"OK, Williams, what were you doing at the scene of the explosion?" Korea asked.

"I was…" Canada noticed that China and Hong Kong were trying to get his attention. Hong Kong was holding a sign that read, "SPEAK NOT OF THE MOVIE" as China pointed to it, mouthing something in Chinese.

Canada nodded, and stuttered, "I...I was in the art section b-browsing when the explosion h-happened." He looked feverishly at China, who gave him the "OK" sign.

Ms. Feldmason stood up, exclaiming, "Objection!"

Hong Kong smirked. "See? _That's _when you say it."

"Is it really the time to say 'I told you so', aru?"

"Objection?" Korea asked hesitantly.

"Yes!" said Ms. Feldmason. "He's obviously lying." She turned to Canada, saying, "Sir, what you really doing?"

Canada couldn't help it. The look she was giving him made him say, "I'm sorry...but there was a movie shoot at the scene and I was trying to fix a camera."

China slammed his head on the desk for the third time and Hong Kong facepalmed.

Canada lept up and ran out of the room, mumbling, "I'll be waiting outside."

_Dang. _Korea was starting to realize he was beginning to lose odds here.

So he did the craziest thing he could think of, since everyone knows that crazy things always work.

"Your honor, I call Kaoru Kirkland-Wang to the stand."

China began to sob, his face still on the table.

New Orleans cried, "You IDIOT!"

But Hong Kong stayed silent. He looked at Korea, poker face still intact, but his mouth was twitching. "Whatev."

Hong Kong got up and took a seat at the stand.

Korea said, "Now, I understand that you definitely were at the crime scene?"

"Yes," said Hong Kong.

"Great! So, could you tell the court what you were doing there?"

Everyone had their eyes on Hong Kong, waiting for the teen's response. New Orleans was mouthing, "Lie! Lie!" at the other side of the court, China was looking up in hopes of his immortal life being saved from the slammer, and Ms. Feldmason was holding her breath.

So, Hong Kong said, "OK. I fess up. I blew up the museum."

"AHA!" said Ms. Feldmason, pointing.

"Shut up and sit down!" New Orleans yelled at her.

China screamed, "Hong KONG!"

"Eh?" said Korea.

Hong Kong turned to the judge. "Your honor, the museum's explosion was the product of a movie shoot gone wrong. We had a breakaway wall ready, but our idiot director forgot to tell us which one it was. We are sincerely sorry and all fines or replacements will be paid after the movie is finished, which should be in two weeks."

Judge Elise could see the sheer honesty on Hong Kong's face, so she banged her gavel and said, "Order. It seems the whole incident was a case of pure accidental causes and had nothing to do with arson. Yao and Kaoru, you two are free to go." She smiled at Korea, who was jumping for joy.

Then, the first thing they did was have New Orleans drag them all out of the courtroom.

As they left the courthouse, they were met with the sound of a helicopter.

"Yo!" said America, who was about to board. "Nice to see you guys aren't in the slammer! ("But it was your fault!" New Orleans yelled) Guess what? Our next location is at your place, China! We're off to Beijing!"

"Ohhhh no!" China protested. "You are NOT talking me into this, aru!"

_[[Yello! Well, what do you know? I updated for real!_

_OK, I'll tell you a secret. I had no idea what i was doing in this chapter. I went to my keyboard in the morning and said, "You know what? Screw it. I'm going to sit here and get this stupid chapter out of the way so I don't have to deal with it anymore and I can go back to being clever." So basically, what I'm saying is that I totally improvised this chapter. I thought of a joke and wrote it down and this happened. _

_Anyway, Beijing, people! What madness will ensue next? (I think you know.)_

_I do not own Hetalia. _

_I do own Annabelle Brooks/New Orleans._

_I still do not own the title pun, Ace Ventura._

_See yuu in the next installment of Cinema Shock!]]_


	8. Burning the Dragon

"I can't BELIEVE he talked me into this, aru!"

China was infuriated that America's guilt-tripping had won over him once again. Truthfully, Japan, Korea, Prussia, Italy and Russia were the only ones who still approved of the whole idea. Everyone else was beginning to see what consequences the whole thing could hold.

But we're not going to let them go home. TRACK-A (the glorious author) isn't having that.

The plane finally touched down in Beijing, China, and the nations all hurried out to prepare for the next scene of filming.

America gathered the crew outside the airport and yelled, "KK, guys! This time, we're filming a romance scene!" Cue cheering from France, Poland and Italy.

"In this scene, Prussia and Orleans will walk through the Chinese night market, where they will flirt with each other as they watch a fireworks display." America turned to Hong Kong who was pretending to not listen. "That's where you come in, Hong Kong!"

"Whatever."

After that, America called a break because the scene had to be shot at night. In the meantime, Hong Kong told New Orleans he was going to set up the firecrackers, leaving her alone in the busy China streets.

She also noticed her bag felt a little too heavy.

Ducking into an alley, she opened her duffel bag to be met with a blue-eyed face.

She facepalmed. "Sealand."

"Oh come on!" Sealand whined. "I know I'm not a country yet but I want to help too! Can't I at least get a cameo?"

"You're getting a cameo in this stupid fanfiction," said New Orleans flatly. ((No fourth-wall breaks, you guys! Didn't you read the memo in the coffee room?!))

Sealand groaned. "But you said I could come!"

"I wasn't being LITERAL!"

✩✩✩**Hetalia!**✩✩✩

That evening, the stage was set.

New Orleans and Prussia were both standing at the bridge just a little ways away from the night market, and the the rest of the crew had made sure that Hong Kong had everything ready under the bridge.

Despite how professional everyone looked (for once) China was still a little steamed at America for inviting himself over to his country. However, Korea was still ecstatic about the film, so China had to go along with it.

So, he stood at the sidelines, being repeatedly poked by Korea as America took a seat on his director's chair.

"KK, you dudes ready?" he asked through the megaphone.

"Ready as we'll ever be," responded Prussia and New Orleans.

"Lights!"

"There ARE no lights!"

"Sorry! Camera, action!"

((Cue Movie Vision.))

Stacy watched the sun set in the beautiful red and orange colors it streaked across the sky. Wearing her favorite qipao, she felt almost nostalgic. She could do this all the time before she became an agent-but those days were behind her now.

"You feel it, too, huh?" asked her partner, Steven. He raised an eyebrow, knowing the feeling.

"Yeah, I guess," Stacy responded. She smiled, blushing slightly. "Still, it was a close call at the museum, wasn't it?"

"You're bringing that up again?"

"Oh, stop it!"

((Switch to Real Life mode.))

As the actors talked, Hong Kong was working, trying to light everything accordingly.

But, what hong Kong failed to notice, was that the first burning match he used (he went through three to get all the firecrackers lighted) was touching an extra-power firecracker he had set aside for the big finale. The fire touched the fuse as it died, and once again "what could possibly go wrong" strikes again.

FOOOOOOOM.

Hong Kong was knocked off his feet as the rocket blasted over his head and over the bridge, wildly sparking as it headed towards the night market.

Hong Kong mentally slapped himself as he heard everyone screaming their heads off above, so as quickly as he could, he threw himself back on top of the bridge.

"WHAT THE HECK?!" America shouted as the rocket whizzed by and started destroying the night market behind them like a pinball game. It smashed into stands, made food and decorations catch fire, and swooshed over peoples heads like a crazed dragon made of sparks.

Hong Kong flopped onto the pavement, cursing in Cantonese.

China watched the destruction unfold, seething. He turned to America, an aura of fire surrounding him.

America yelped but managed to squeak out, "D-don't worry, we can fix this…"

"HOW, ARU?! IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU AND THIS STUPID MOVIE IDEA NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING, ARU!"

"Don't blame me! Blame Hong Kong!"

"Nice," said Hong Kong sarcastically.

"Now hold on!" said Japan, intervening before China could get any angrier. "We need to think about this. How do we stop a runaway firecracker?"

"It needs to either hit the ground or get to the sky," Hong Kong informed, standing up.

"Then, we're going after it!" Germany announced, and New Orleans nodded.

The crew was about to start packing in order to chase the firecracker but a voice yelled, "WAIT!"

Everyone whipped around. Lithuania panted, a little uneasy. "I have an idea, maybe someone can shoot the firecracker down so we don't have to wring ourselves out chasing after it!"

"Like, good plan, Liet!" approved Poland.

"Well, chasing a firecracker is a pretty grandiose idea," said New Orleans.

"I think we can do it if we try~!" Italy cheered, waving his flag around joyously.

China turned to Hong Kong, "OK, since _you're _the one who caused this mess, how do you plan to fix it, aru?"

Hong Kong smiled slightly. "First, I'll need a volunteer."

"The AWESOME ME shall do it!" Prussia yelled proudly, stepping up front. Turning to America, he added, "And you can use whatever happens as bonus footage! Awesome, right?"

"So awesome!" America said, eyes sparkling. England facepalmed.

Hong Kong's smile turned into a smirk. "I hope you like being shot out of a cannon."

✩✩✩**Hetalia!**✩✩✩

Hong Kong whistled his character song as Prussia got into the cannon. The teen held a rope that was supposed to activate the cannon.

"Where exactly do you _find _this stuff?" New Orleans asked, eyeing the cannon skeptically.

"171 years is a long time to learn how to improv," the city-tan answered, and added to Prussia, "Ready?"

"The awesome me is always ready!"

"Whatever you say," said Hong Kong, rolling his eyes. Then, he shouted, "FIRE IN THE HOLE!" and yanked.

With a BOOM, Prussia was shot out of the cannon, and was heading straight for the crazy firecracker. As he soared, everyone heard the albino yell, "I AM THE GOD OF AWESOME!"

Then, the firecracker and Prussia both met the ground with a good-sized explosion.

New Orleans gaped, China looked dumbstruck and Germany looked like he just saw someone jump off a cliff.

Hong Kong was trying hard not to laugh hysterically. "Best. Movie. Ever."

Cue Chinese Dope Slap.

Two minutes later, a sooty Prussia made the scene, carrying the corpse of the poor firecracker. "See?" he said woozily, "I saved the day! I'm so awesome..." Then he passed out.

Everyone was completely silent for a minute.

Finally, Lithuania asked, "So now that _that's_ out of the way, what's our next location?"

America laughed. "Good question! Pack it up, guys! We're off to London!"

"Wait, _WHAT?!" _England exclaimed as everyone cheered.

Well, almost everyone.

_[[Update! Update! Update! Yeah!_

_Prussia, you are awesome but wow, you can be a moron sometimes._

_OK, this is the last chapter starring those spazzy Asians until we go to New York. Next, we'll be starring Lithuania, America, England, France, and Russia as our mains until we go to Rome. But maybe I'm giving too much away. I should shut up._

_Oh, and those "Hetalia" parts with the stars? Those are eyecatches. _

_Ok, hetalia doesn't belong to me, blah blah blah._

_The title pun "Enter the Dragon" doesn't belong to me, blah blah blah._

_Annabelle/Orleans-chan DOES belong to me, blah blah blah._

_KK, see you next time in Cinema Shock! Keep reviewing!]]_


	9. An American Idiot in London

The team arrived at an English airport someways away from the spot they were planning to film at. New Orleans noticed that England was relatively quiet, although something told her it would _not _be a good idea to go and talk to him at the moment. America, of course, was bragging about his film plans, but New Orleans was hardly listening.

"Hey."

"Eek!" She swerved around to see Canada. "Oh, it's you."

"Things are getting out of hand, aren't they?" he asked, smiling softly.

"In a way, totally," said New Orleans. "This is all my fault. If I hadn't shown him the stupid ad..."

"Don't feel bad," said Canada. "You didn't know he was going to take you seriously." He watched America poke the seething England. "But in hindsight, it was coming."

"Tell me about it."

After leaving the airport, America said that everyone could do a little sightseeing until it was time to get filming. So, Canada and New Orleans took a walk at the nearest pier.

"I love my brother, but I understand how you feel about him when he does stuff like this," Canada said. "I guess it doesn't help that a bunch of other countries wanted in, too, huh?"

"I guess," said New Orleans, blushing slightly.

Moment killer! The two then heard the sound of rushing water, so they turned around.

An iron port was making it's way over to the dock. "Oi! Oi, Brooks!" said a small figure on the port.

"Who's that?" asked Canada.

"Sealand," New Orleans growled. "STOP FOLLOWING ME!"

✩✩✩**Hetalia!✩✩✩**

Later, in front of Big Ben...

"Ha ha ha!" America laughed, his megaphone in hand. "OK, guys! This time, we're throwing in some more action!"

"You better not mess up my landmark!" England said sourly.

"I'm not, there'll just be a couple of explosions!" America said defensively. "KK, so this scene will have New Orleans climb up Big Ben, where the bad guys will start shooting stuff at her. There'll be explosions, but she'll swing up to the top and realize she's trapped. Finally, she jumps off the tower, where she'll pull out a parachute and take a car out of the scene. Got it?"

"Sorta," said New Orleans wearily.

Everyone ran to get into place, as America took a seat in the director's chair. "This is going to be totally awesome!" he whisper-yelled to England.

"Sod off," said England bitterly.

"Action!"

((Cue Movie Vision.))

"She's getting away!" said the henchman, pointing to the girl swinging up to Big Ben. "Catch her! Fire at her! Do _something!" _

Stacy fired the claw hand at a good reasonable height, and started climbing the ancient tower. She had to be quick...these people just wouldn't quit!

The villains fired at her ((Hold up! Hold up! Readers, I'll give you three guesses who is firing these shots. YOU'RE HETALIA FANS. THINK.)) very fast as she swung from one spot to another, scrambling up the tower.

"Fire! Fire! Fire! Catch her!"

Stacy coughed from the dust that flew up in her face with each explosion. It was irritating. With a final breath, she put her hand on the top of the building.

Pushing herself up, she gasped. The view was amazing, she could see all of London! She saw the tiny cars and people, the numerous Victorian buildings, the bays and docks…

Then, one henchman hit her spot on.

She wasn't shot, but she lost her balance and began to fall.

((Cut Movie Vision.))

New Orleans had lost her claw hand when she fell off, so now she had to way of saving herself. _I'mgonnadieI'mgonnadieI'mgonnadie! _

"Switzerland! That wasn't supposed to happen!" Lithuania said loudly.

"My hand hit the trigger by accident!"

"Someone do something! My little mademoiselle is going to die!" France cried.

"England! Use your magic stuff! Just don't suck this time or I'm going to lose the one part of my family I really, really like!"

"Ahem."

"Other than you, Canada."

"Ugh, fine," said England. He pulled out his famous wand and spellbook. "I'll try, but it's not like I'm doing this for you."

"Your Tsundere is showing, Igirisu-san," added in Japan.

England quickly flipped through his book and pinpointed. He focused on New Orleans' falling form and yelled, "Wingardium Leviosa!" ((And Harry Potter fans all over the world groan.))

Nothing happened.

"You forgot to wave your wand, stupid!"

"I KNOW WHAT TO DO!" yelled England, and waved his wand the right way, saying "Wingardium Leviosa!"

New Orleans' outline began to glow slightly and stopped falling about 5 feet from the ground. "Whew."

"YOU DID IT! IGGY ACTUALLY DIDN'T SUCK!" Canada, America, and France all glomped England for not messing up.

"Mark your calendars, readers!" said Italy. "England successfully used magic today!"

"Okay! Okay! Get off. Get off!" England said as he pushed the excited nations off him.

"Thanks for saving me, Mr. Kirkland," said New Orleans, "but I'd like to get down now."

"No problem." He lifted his wand slightly, and New Orleans fell back on her feet, completely unharmed.

"Did you get all that on tape, Spain?"

"Sure did!"

✩✩✩**Hetalia!✩✩✩**

Meanwhile…

"Norway, you're a genius!"

"I can't believe you put an extra camera in Spain's! That was brilliant!"

"But what events these are."

"I think this calls for some popcorn. Do you want some, Sweden?"

"N' th'nks."

_[[OMIGOD. I PLANNED THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS OUT. WHAT._

_KK! So here we have the first part of the London Arc! It's a very short arc...it's only three parts. But, much hilarity will ensue, and England will get headaches from all the junk I'm going to force the poor Brit through. Aw, well. _

_I'm so glad you guys are enjoying this. I know it's random as all-get-out but still. I'm also so sorry I butchered Sweden's accent. _

_Also, have you people noticed that it is now a running gag that Sealand follow New Orleans every single time they move to a different location?_

_Keep reviewing!_

_Hetalia doesn't belong to me. If it did, 2p characters would exist._

_The title pun "An American Werewolf in London" doesn't belong to me._

_Annabelle Brooks/New Orleans does belong to me._

"_Wingarium Leviosa" is by Harry Potter, which does not belong to moi. _

_Toodles~]]_


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